To be continued...

So, this is The End, my friends...

Or maybe just not :)

Writing the final post on what started as a activity for a class, I realize how I had chose only courses on writing - the most distinct is maybe Translation Practices on Scientific Texts (version). The other three are specific writing classes or revolving around it, as Self Writing (Escritas de Si), on graduate level.

The amazing Fabricia, teacher of Self Writing, told us how every literary work turns to itself, to the act of writing. And every writing is subjective in a way. There are those that explicit the writer, as personal journal and blogs. And here we are, on a blog in which the writer talks about her writing experience. It sounds too selfabsorbing, but it is surely more than that.

At the same time I was here, writing about an specific experience and, of course, about myself (how not?), I was reflecting about it on the graduate class. It was a meta experience, as to say. And it has been a blast. Difficult, but a really good experience.

When someone writes about oneself, a character is inevitably created. An aspect of ourselves that appear only when we write in a more reflective manner. I won't turn this post on a Freudian analisis, don't worry, but on a reflection about writing, it is important to be aware of who is writing, when, for whom, how and, don't forget, why.

Here is a Translation student enroled in a Writing class with the mission of thinking about her own writing process and motivations. We have the who, the when and the  whom for. Maybe the why also, but that last one is more complicated, as it trasformed on the course of the semester.

What started as a mandatory activity for a class, became a place of confidence, selfreflection (and not just about writing, as it never is) and, let's not forget, lots of fun. I love thinking about things, it is my vocation in life, and that's why I enjoy blogs. I would never had figure this out about me before the adventure of writing my first one, but now I'm all aware of that. And here's the first of many whys: why not have a good time in an excercise that be boring and too difficult otherwhise? Study and research should all about what we love in life, and it is too sad that we usually think it is not.

I love reading... and I'm finding out that I enjoy writing about what I find in my literary, cinematic and academic journeys. It is a way to understand what I really think about things and to share those finds with who are available to read my too long posts. 

As I've already told you, this semester turned out as a reflection on writing under different perspectives. About Writing 3, the process was not easy - it never is. Writing is a blunt confront wirht ourselves, doesn't matter the subject. While writing, we sort of stay in front of our real beliefs. It doesn't matter what we usually say or even think; when we start to write about something, we realize our true thoughts about things. And it is not an easy confront.

The way the class was structured, it was easier to write under academic norms. The course was designed, I think, to make this process a bit less dreadful, in a way that the student is not only more skillful, but more aware about it. 

The semester is in the end, but I'm still in the process of reflecting about writing and about me while writing. I don't thing it has a limited spam of time, by the way. The awarenes is a continuous, no doubt about that. 

I'm a bit selfcounscious about exposing so much of my thoughts on writing, but that was the exercise here. I hope it wasn't too much - I felt like it was sometimes, and I'm sorry for that. However, I'm not sure if any process can be honest and true without a bit of exageration.

So, folks, here we are. A better writer, I hope, more aware of how to present at least an adequate academic writing in a journey that nerver ends. Never, even in the final post. 

Now you're free of my rumblings about writing. You don't need to be tunned anymore (I'm a little sad about it, a bittersweet feeling for sure). But, who knows if all this talking hasn't inspired you at least a bit? Let's keep writing... it is difficult, dreadful sometimes, but a real way to find what we are and want in life, not only to be successful in a class or job or what we think we have to excel in.

Be safe (and adventurous). Be healthy (but not stop risking). Be happy.  

See you!

Lots of love, Dri.

PS: At last, but not least, I'm grateful to Thiago, the TA's and my classmates for this opportunity and all the help on a busy semester. I want to remark how I admire this new generation, and how brilliant they are, even if they don't know that yet (maybe it is for the best). I hope we'll meet again, soon! 

PPS: In the end, it is important to highlight I'm writing in not my native language. Because of that, the writing is a bit confusing. I'm being gentle with myself, it is problaby almost inscrutable :) I'm really trying, though, and Writing 3 helped me a lot in the matter of improving my English a bit more. Thank's again!

PPPS: Tons of PS, right? Let's not break tradition in the end! Have you notice, though,  that this was a post withou a single image? Did you? I was looking for a more impactant pace at the end; hope you enjoyed it. But I'll leave you with a happy song about friends, the best aspect of the university for me (Rudderless soundtrack was the background of this post). I'm not being cheesy, I promise you. It is just the truth :)

The Fundamental Matter

When we google the term "Fundamental Matter", we'll probably reach different meanings. One of them is scientific, in the context of particle physics, as in "the fundamental matter particles". Other is legal, regarding actions on business law that require the vote or consent of a company member. 

In a more general sense, a fundamental matter is of essential importance. In the case of this blog, the matter that is fundamental is regarding to the subject of the third graded essay: Mental Health.

Although I'll not submit the third essay, as the students should submit two essays, I think it is important to discuss the topic. A fundamental one, by my perception.

Right before writing this post, I got a message on WhatsApp saying that Education Faculty has dealt with 4 attempts of suicide em only two months. Last September, a 21 years student on our department committed suicide in the sight of everyone passing on a crowdy place on campus. Mental Health is not only about suicide, I know that. However, I think the pressure of not getting help to emotional and mental suffering and mental diseases leads to violence against oneself and others, suicide being one of them. 

It is a stigma still, there's no doubt about that. We discussed the subject on class on the least two Wednesdays, and it was a good debate. Not all the students are comfortable with the subject, I guess, although I hadn't see anything in particular in this sense. Everyone looked open to the discussion. 

The first debate was lead by Giovanna, a student and a teaching assistant, and she was really great about it. The debate was around the first appointed opinion text, "Stop the stigma on mental health", by Coreu Foster (2019) for News Record. The article highlight how mental health issues are treated badly on social media or on an university campus, for example. According to it, 

"Long-held stigmas make it extremely difficult for most to talk openly and honestly with others about mental health, and not everyone has access to a therapist. So, be there for your friends, partners and family members. Don't be too quick to dismiss behavior that seems unnatural. Sometimes, identifying the warning signs of mental illness can be the difference between life and death." 

The kindness here refers to the way a person who experiences some sort of mental illness can be publicly mocked or fast judeged for it. 

Yes, awful... but very usual.

The way physical illness, like cancer, is treated with respect, in contrast with the mockery regarding mental issues reminded me of a movie about the subject, Thanks for Sharing. The character played by Mark Ruffalo takes some time to finally admit to his new girlfriend (Gwyneth Paltrow) that he is a sex addict. When confronted by her on how she had told since their first date about her breast cancer, he replies that no one would ever think she is responsible for a cancer, but everyone easily blames the addict on their addiction. He says that no one would have doubts about her cancer, but an addiction is a different matter altogether. He is not victimizing himself, far from that; he only highlights how the two illness are treated differently by people and society. And just to remember: physical illness leads to mental problems as well.  

The stigma exists and, despite texts like this one or a lot of talking and publication on the subject, is remains strong. An example? During the class, Giovanna asked if any of us was on therapy. When I raised my hand (guilty!), every eye was on me. There was no real bad intention, but we can see the wariness on some of the stares.  

At the end, we talked how paying attention to ourselves and others is a way to prevent and treat emotional issues, as one trigger to this matter is loneliness, invisibility and feeling inadequate.

The second text was really great. Not that the first wasn't, but the second one was closer to me, talking about art and fiction narratives (in the form of video games) are important in dealing with mental health. The text I submitted to the voting was about this aspect. 

"Help Madeline survive her inner deamons on her journey to the top of
Celeste Mountain"

"Depressed and Anxious? These Video Games Want to Help", written by Laura Parker for The New York Times created a nice debate in the class, as some student knew some of the games quoted on the text. 

For me, fictional narratives allow us to understand ourselves and others, being more aware of what is happening inside and around us (and of others). It allows empathy, the understanding of otherness, the perception of how different and equal we are all. Not for nothing I quoted a movie, as cinema has been a source of knowledge of myself and the world since I was a kid. It is in a movie theater that I really find myself, in the many stories from around the world being told in a way that I can relate deeply.  

I'm not used to play video games - cinema and books are my cure for insanity for sure. Many of my friends are gamers, though, and I can relate to them on the subject. And even if I was not familiar with the great influence video games have o one's perception of life, I would had enjoyed the discussion around this opinion text, as it has touched important current issues on mental health.

On both Wednesdays I told the class about an initiative of the sports center on campus - no one had seen this before, unfortunately. On the wall, there is some posters with questions regarding emotional issues, highlighting how it is not normal to feel bad for not being perfect, for example. It is a small initiative, but a important one. Talk about the subject, address the matter in an openly, honest and respectful way can be form of help and be helped on a suffering that is not always visible to the eyes or  identifiable on an MRI.

See? A fundamental, delicate and difficult matter. One that, even in this brief post, I could not turn my back on. 

I hope it made some sense. 

Just to remind you: there's only one post to go! We are almost at the end of this journey.

So... stay tuned! (And healthy, please!)

Love is all you need

Fleabag

PS: The link of reference on the movie Thanks for Sharing is from my most import online publication, the blog One Movie a Day. throughout the challenge of watching at least one movie a day for one year, there were many films addressing one matter of mental health. Right at this moment I remember two of them, amazing movies, heartbreaking pictures of how strugling life can be: It's Kind of a Funny Story (writen by Ned Vizinni who strugled with mental illness til he committed suicide at the age of 32) and On the Edge. both set on both set on psychiatric institutions.

PPS: As I think everything is intertwined, this weekend I marathoned a TV show in which I could not deal with at first, but that took me by surprise since last Thursday. I was lucky that it is short - 2 hours and 30 minutes each of the two seasons. Otherwise, I would still be in front of the TV, without any way out of it. The show is Fleabag, and it is astonishing. Really stunning  and disturbing in its honesty view on grief and mental issues. 

PPPS: I had outlined the main ideas for the third essay on class, but as I've told you above, I won't write it. The thesis statement were: we have to talk more about suicide. The controlling idea was that talk about the subject help to diminishes the stigma around it in a way to really be an aide. I would present the example of Graham Moore in his acceptance speech for Best Adapted Screenplay for The Imitation Game. Moore talks about suicide, bullying, staying weird and going though a tough adolescence. It is very inspirational in a honesty ways, I think. Well, back to the essay. Here my notes on the subject for the third argumentative essay:

Final Strech

Hello there!

So, we can see the end of this semester right on the horizon... We're almost there. Last assignments, deadlines, results...

Results! That's the best part and the subject of this post.

First, we got back the results of the last quiz, the third one, about Inversion. In a very different note from the test about Collocation, it was very good. I thought I had got one answer wrong, but no. A beautiful 10 at the top of the page, and the class started just well.

This was last Monday. Yes, I'm a bit behind the schedule, I know. Last week we had an event on the department, s series of lectures and student's presentations about their research on graduate level. I'm always in awe with such an initiative and how hard the students work in order to put such an event together. They're so accomplished, and I'm happy to be a part of it, even a very small part. This way, I got a bit behind with the posts here. Sorry about that!

So, back to the Monday class. We had the beautifully amazing results on our quizzes, and I was relieved to see a good grade on the page, as I told you before. First, though, we'd had a Portfolio check point. I'm usually the first one on the list, but my computer was having a very bad day that Monday. It was a nice change of pace, actually. I usually talk about what I'm doing, stay a bit on the class and then leave to escape an usually very hot place - the class room is a furnace in hot days. Observing others talking about their projects was really nice, even if I tried not to be invasive - not polite, right?, even if irresistible sometimes. At the end,  I was able to talk to Thiago about my portfolio - this blog that you're currently reading :) 

 Inversion quiz

We're almost done here, folks, I'm sorry to say. Despite being really glad with the end of a busy semester, I'm truly attached to my blogs, and this one is not different, I assure you. The reasons why I'll tell in the last post. Thus, stay tuned! (No, it is not the end yet... the best is yet to come!).

For now, we'll skip one class to go straight to Thursday, when we got the second essay results. And, guess what? Another A-ssay on the hand! Talking like that I sound really smug and pretentious, but I assure you I'm nothing like that. It is not exactly the opposite, but I'm usually not so sure about the things I do. I try to understand my motivations and all, and that's specially true about writing, but I'm always questioning myself. For me, in healthy doses, such questioning is necessary, in every step of our stay in this world. In the academic field, it is an essential element of improvement and learning. Always questioning, knowing that the things are not graved on stone. 

This way, seeing a good grade linked to one of my writings is a happy reassurance of what I'm trying to achieve on the academic environment and in my life in a more general view. 

No, this time I'll not post the grade or the reviewer comments - I think you had enough of that already. However, I'll post the essay itself, the one about immigration. I hope you like it!

Immigrant opposition and the long life of non factual arguments

Present times witness a world that gradually gets smaller in terms of access to longer distances. The same reasoning can be applied to how information is quickly accessed in different places. Those two facts, however, do not mean an easy circulations between different nations or an accurate perception of current facts. It is just the opposite: the borders are getting narrower with the increase of legislation against the flux of immigrations around the world; information is handled according the interests of some groups,, distancing themselves from attested facts. In this context, based on what happens today under the administration of President Donald Trump, it is urgent the debate around arguments against immigration, some of them taken as true, despite based on false data. Actually, it is scary the permanence of misleading ideas about immigration. In this sense, there are three common wrongful arguments against immigrations that remain relatively intact nowadays that deserve a more careful analysis.

The first one, in the economic context, is that immigrants will take American jobs in an era of constant crisis, hurting more specifically the “poor”. It is important to highlight how such idea is not a prerogative of the United States, being a strong argument on the countries that barrel the entrance of refugees from war zones, for example. On the United States, however, such argument was one of the strongest pointed on the Trump’s campaign for presidency, figuring even as a strong element of its success. Nevertheless, there is established data supporting that natives are not affected at all by the flux of immigrant on job perspectives. Economically speaking, immigration is, in fact, a factor of economic expansion and job opportunities, as immigrants head in majority to growing regions, helping its development.

The second argument is cultural and concerns how immigrants do not assimilate to a foreign society as the previous immigrant waves did. Once more, there is research proving the opposite. Assimilation is not an easy process and it is never fully achieved as an immigrant do not simply leave behind its culture and ancestrally. However, according the National Academy of Science1, the assimilation process in current time is going very well, even if it is take time and it is never perfect. The never complete assimilation not a bad aspect of immigration, as immigrants should keep their heritage alive, in a connection to their native and to their adopted land in a constant construction of individual and group identity.

At last, the third argument against immigration highlight in the debate presented here is very popular on Trump’s administration: immigrants increase the level of crime. The safety argument is a “loud voice” on immigration opposition; along the economic issue, it is the main discourse used by the legislation addressing the subject. Contrary to this idea, immigrants are less likely prone to commit violent and property crimes than natives; there are research defending that cities with more immigrants are more peaceful2. It is not a matter of saying that immigrants do not commit violent acts or crimes, far from that. The significant idea here is rebutting the argument of the prevalence of immigrants on criminal activities. Such idea has had a long life on the United States, being of significant importance to its misleading actions on the matter.

In order to establish a comprehensive and more accurate debate about immigration, it is of great importance separate wrongful arguments from facts. An important aspect on the matter are how every nation is composed not by a sole cultural identity, but by many – every nation was formed by immigration waves in some point of their history. Another factor pointing to the relevance of such debate is the current state of the refugees’ crisis. Social, cultural and economic isolation is not a prerogative of a sovereign nation, as every country is formed by and for people. If the refuges crisis is humanity’s crisis, as argumented by Zygmunt Bauman3, the spread of misleading ideas about immigration is part of the crime being perpetuated legally by nations and citizens that support such wrongful arguments without a care about facts and established research and, even less, with the life of the human beings involved.

In the last paragraph, the conclusion, I inserted a new element. I knew it would be trouble for me, but I couldn't resist writing about Zygmunt Bauman and his statement about the "crisis of humanity". I did not want to write a whole essay about that, even if it is worthy a longer text, so I put this bit on the conclusion. It is not recommended to bring up a new idea or argument on the conclusion, but I did that aware that it was not the best way to finish my essay... I don't know, sometimes we can be really stubborn on our writings, and the "Bauman" bit is a  good example of the writer pigheadedness. 

For now, that's it, folks. Soon, we'll talk about Wednesday (it is a very important subject, don't miss it :).

And, as always, stay tuned!

ALMOST the end of term :)

PS: The background for the post today was the sound of Robert Johnson's Complete Recordings. One of my favourite bluesman, Johnson made a cameo on the second season of Timeless, a TV show that had been a good relief on the last month. Try it, it is surely a good entertainment.  

Backgrounds

Hello there!

This week we're facing the deadline for the second graded essay. I'd already told you here that I'm a bit impatient. So, I submitted it on Sunday. I know, I already regret being this hurried... there were some things I could have wrote to get it better, but now it is really too late.

It is not just impatience, though. I have a lot to in many classes, so I try to plan all the assignments due this week to not get too crazy trying to submit them at the same time. This week, I have to translate a chapter of a Jiu-Jitsu manual, finished the outline of a research project, finish to write a  paper to a graduate class... From all those, the most daring was the second Essay - the article for the Lit class is due to the first week of December, leaving me with more time to develop it. In this scenario, I decided it was best to work on the essay first, the more complicated task right ahead.

The second essay was a bit different from the first on its planning, for it involved more research than the essay about Internet surveillance. In a planing that started at the begin
ning of the semester, Thiago asked the students to vote for two subjects (the class chose Immigration and Mental Health). After that, we had to submit an opinion essay from the Internet about each theme. Teacher and monitors chose two of them and sent them back to us, as a lead off research material for the writing. And so it started.

Nicole Nguven and family

About Immigration, the subject on this second essay, we had different kind of editorials. One is more political, a opinion text from The New York Times named "Donald Trump Isn't Making the Country Safer", by the Editorial Board*. The second opinion text approached immigration in a more personal tone. Written by Nicole Nguyen, "Making Great Pho is Hard, But Making A Life From Scratch Is Harder" talks about assimilation through the analysis of how food is an element of cultural identity for immigrants. Nguyen's parents were Vietnamese refugees in 1975; despite being born in the US, Nicole tells a strong and heart touching story about adaptation, identity and food.

II  was torn between those two different views on immigration, as both are relevant and explanatory. One is more general, revolving about politics in Trump's administration. The other revolves around people and their lives far from their native country. Together, the two opinion texts built a more  comprehensive view of what is involve in the legislation that regulates immigration - and, more, the lives of immigrants.

So I attempted to evoke both texts on my essay, choosing to talk about how some misleading ideas pose wrongfully as true for long periods of time, specifically on the US, as the country has being pointed as a protagonist on the debates about immigration in the context of President Trump's administration. I was particularly surprised by the first essay, from The New York Times, and how it shows that the legislation on immigration is more dangerous than the immigrants supposed to be (one of the raised flags by Trump's ban on immigrations is the raise of crime).

Zygmunt Bauman
(1925-2017)

In my first year as a Translation undergraduate student, I had to translate an interview with Zygmunt Bauman, the Polish socialist and philosopher, under the name "The refugees crisis is humanity crisis". also a publication on The New York Times. It is such a strong statement, one that I keep it close when talking about immigration. The subject of immigration make it clearer how sovereign nations are more preoccupied about economics and political gain than people freezing to death on the border of a country waiting for rescue.

For me, the permanence of misleading ideas is one of the most dangerous elements in the world, for it allows people and institutions to take wrongful measures based on fake data. Because of that, and from the idea presented on The New York Times editorial, I tried to write an opinion text about three misleading ideas about immigration that influence people and nations on their take about the subject. For that, I had the support of an opinion text on the blog published by the CATO Institute (a libertarian American think tank). It is important to highlight that all the research articles for my essay are opinion texts.

One of the misleading ideas discussed on the second essay is related to cultural assimilation by immigrants, and with this topic I could bring a little of Nicole Nguyem beautiful and strong testimony about building a life in a foreign country.

I hope I'd succeeded on that! Now it is wait for the comments on the second essay.

Stay tuned!

*It is a NYT article, so the access is not free (it is limited to 10 articles per month).

PP: On November 11 we had the third quiz - this one about Inversions. So, it is a double wait time for the next days  :) 

A-ssay!!!

Yes!!! I know, the pun is sort of infamous, but it's not less accurate.

Remember the other good news I talked about on the last post? So... Last week we got the first essay back, graded and commented. 

Needless to say after this post not-subtle title that I got an A <3 (94).

I'm not sure if I'm regressing or something, but I even looked for information on the US grading system to see if it was an A+ lol. 

All this talk about grade instead of the process of writing proves how one can be a kind of academic Benjamin Button" instead of evolving. In my defense I should argue that the grading system does that to a student.

My insecurity in writing academically in English is another strong argument (as we're talking about argumentative essays and I've just finished the second one). It is not difficult to get things wrong while writing any text, specially an academic one. 

Theory is one thing, the practice an entirely different matter - Thiago highlighted this aspect at the end of last class. I'm very aware of such risks, and that's why writing is not an easy task for me - I question myself a lot.

Well, let's get to what is important here, the A-ssay :) 

As a proposed activity, the students are invited to post their essay on the blog created for this intent. I'm already writing a blog, so the teacher told me I could do it on my on blog. So, here it goes, the first graded essay on writing 3 class:

Censored Internet: An United States prerogative?

          

As the world grows wilder in the matter of online communication, several ethical issues emerge from Internet surveillance around the world. The subject has been in the center of the National Security Agency politics since September 11 and the consequent approval of the Patriot Act in 2001. More recently, the 2013 scandal of mass surveillance in the President Obama’s administration present the question of safety use of the Internet by regular citizens around the world dividing pro and against surveillance opinions. According to Daniel J. Gallington, on his editorial named “The Case for Internet Surveillance”[i], published in 2013 in the heat of the discussion, the United States are a special case, and the reasons for Internet monitoring in the country are different from the rest of the world. Contrary to this notion, however, is the consideration that, despite the particularity of each country, their economic, political and cultural affairs, Internet surveillance is a worldwide matter, and should be envisioned as such.

            Gallington’s first argument for a United States special circumstance is that in most countries the communication services are already under the government control, being owned or operated by the official powers, while in the US those services are provide mainly by the private sector. In the under democratic world, still according Gallington, Internet surveillance would be expected as a part of dictatorial governments, such as China. In this sense, Gallington’s view presents some misleading ideas. The one regarding the existence of a US private sector completely independent was proved wrong by the 2013 Obama’s surveillance scandal, showing to the world the strong government hold on communications in the US especially through the NSA.

            The second argument by which it is defended a different approach on Internet surveillance for the US is the state of anti-terrorism politics in the country. As a champion of freedom and democracy for the whole world, the US would figure as a protagonist on the fight against terrorism and dictatorial governments, in order to exterminate terrorism and other criminal acts from the world through controlled communications. Here lies the main term about the subject: the world. While defending a different approach on surveillance, the whole subject is referred as a world matter, and as such, it should be considered.

            As a extend from the former topic, Gallington’s last argument in favor of a different approach on Internet surveillance is that the US government did not betrayed the Internet threshold of freedom and privacy by focusing on those who are a menace for security of individuals, countries and even the world as a whole. In the name of safety, “these kind of people”, as referred by Gallington, should be constantly and effectively monitored. The question is how to separate “these people” from regular citizens, equally spied on their daily activities and communications. Therefore, here lies the question: Is there a clear separation between criminal agents and regular citizens, as many criminals are easily disguised as common people?

            Such question, as others around the subject, remain without a definite answer. As the debate develop around different point of views, one aspect becomes clearer: the United States, while a independent nation, are a part of the world, playing a hole in the international politics, economy and culture that affect other nations and citizens of different nationalities. The Internet surveillance performed by the United States under the Patriot Act, as proved in the Obama 2013 scandal, affects not only the American territory and citizens, but also a significant part of the world. Thus, the debate around the subject turns out to be worldwide, not only a national matter of the United States of America.

The guidelines on this specific task where on the textbook; The students had to choose one of the proposed subjects, and I opted for "Should Internet be monitored or censored? By who?" As the main idea for developing my arguments, I thought about Obama's 213 scandal on Internet Surveilance, and so I tryied to develope an argumentative essay rebuting the matter as a US prerogative. 

A monitor comented on the Essay, and it was an accurate review, I think. It helped me a lot on the writing of the second essay. Even if I'm insecure about this one too, I was more attentive to some aspects that passed me by on the first writing. I hope it works out okay - I'll tell you soon!

These were the comments on my essay: 

Criteria	Score	Suggestion
*It is not an Argumentative essay! (lacks TS,ts’s and overall argumentative essay structure) – max 5.5
Introduction – inviting - 1	1	Very good intro
Clarity of the thesis - 1	1
Objectivity of the thesis - 1	1
Support for the thesis in the developmental paragraphs (topic sentences) 1	0,8	Make topic sentences shorter and objective.
Argumentative pattern of organization of the essay - 1	1	Pattern A
Support for Argumentative essay (Development of supporting sentences) - 3	2,6	When refuting the argument, use logical arguments using evidences to do so. Avoid questions and implied information.
Coherence - transitions, key words - 1	1
Logical conclusion - 1	1	Good
TOTAL - 10	9,4	Essay well-structured and written, very clear and cohesive. Congratulations

  

I omitted the reviewer name and my own - talking about Internet surveillance, let's keep a bit of privacy here :)

Let me know what you thought about the essay and the review! Opinions are a helpful way to keep improving.

Stay tuned!

"Obama is checking your email"

PS: The textbook suggests a 7 paragraph essay, but ours has to be a 5 paragraph text: introduction, three development paragraphs and conclusion. The book presents some guidelines about writing the essay:

And Thiago posted a very helpful link about writing fallacies.